How Does Your Inner Critic Get In Your Way?

Career Coaching: inner critic.What has your inner critic sabotaged for you recently? I’ve been all too aware of mine in recent weeks.After four decades I have finally located the place where my inner critic is most active and powerful. This is a great piece of information to have for all of us because then you can work out how to attend to it best. On a residential course recently, my inner critic was roaring very loudly and I had to find ways of reigning her in. The messages I was getting were so powerful I was tempted to leave. 

career coaching: inner critic

You see, when I am ‘unconsciously incompetent’ in the Learning Matrix, I don’t even know what I don’t know, and I am in blissfully ignorant. Once however I begin to know what I don’t know, once I am ‘consciously incompetent’, I enter my version of hell. As the daughter of a recovering headteacher, I hold a strong belief that I ‘should know all this already Whilst this is impossible I can see myself engaging in a series of bizarre, deflecting behaviours in order that others don’t find out that I don’t know. I will giggle. I compare myself with others who do know more. I will be resentful of them and full of shame about me. The long and short of it is that my ability to learn is compromised even further by this behaviour because my head is so full of noise!

Career Coaching: Inner Critic

My inner critic makes it so hard to learn something new. It makes it so hard to stay. It takes all the fun out of learning. It makes me feel like a generally terrible human being.  This must stop. I have wrestled with it all my life. I have tried exposure-therapy and shown up to learn over and over again… it has been excruciating every time.

Now I need to do it differently. I need to listen for those shaming voices, I need to substitute them with something that works for me. I need to write the script anew. When it all kicks off again in my head, and it will as this piece of professional development is 3 years long. I need to push the words aside by inserting a new narrative in its place. 

I shall be kind to myself. I will  quit comparing myself, I shall stay with myself and encourage myself and reassure myself that I am doing OK. Then I can show up honest and true. Learning is a vulnerable thing to do, and the learning can only get in if we remain malleable 

When does your inner critic kick off most? What words echo around your head? And, what would you like to be saying to yourself instead?

You can find Rebecca here at the Daemon Career Coach