“Put that phone down”

Is a phrase frequently hurled at me by my husband and not only do I resent him for it, simultaneously I also know that he is right!

Firstly as a coach, supervisor, business owner, mother, and all the other hats I wear, much of my world is organised using this device…. And because it is done on the hoof, this work goes by I acknowledged. Secondly I do know that I surrender to the temptations of social media and indulgences of online scrabble ….. Everyone is entitled to some ‘down-time’ right?

And yet if I am honest I may be doing myself few favours by giving in to this magnetic pull. If I need to really connect with a human, better to do so in person, with coffee in hand and hearts open than by observation from afar over Facebook? If I want to get truly competitive then might engaging in a realtime thrashing at cards over the kitchen table with my friend be more rewarding and indeed hilarious at these times? 

I discovered to my own cost that there is a darker side to the flexibility of Being-Very-Busy and over-using my ‘device’. I have found that it gives me the ability to deceive myself. I can pretend to myself that I am working when I am actually avoiding a difficult-thing by face-booking. I can avoid and sidestep the confrontations that might be arising between myself and my son, or husband or even colleagues. Most importently I can avoid myself. I can avoid processing my own emotional reactions to both the joys and failures of both my professional and personal lives. These feelings are natural, normal, and require my regular attentions. I can easily avoid this essential, gentle confrontation with myself using technology. I can fill all the spaces in between. I can keep on moving, nay, driving forwards and neglect to reflect on the here and now. 

And the cost of this trick that I play on myself is that when I do finally allow myself to pause, when I do put down my phone and head to a beautiful place, when I do dim the screen and pause long enough to breathe and enjoy the gift of being present….. What I encounter instead is a huge and unpleasant backlog of unprocessed feelings and reactions and internal responses, somewhat akin to unprocessed sewerage…… So before I can make the very most of being right where I am, I have a whole heap of effluent to deal with.

My advice? Put down the phone, pause and reflect….. do it regularly……. In fact do it now!

To learn more about working with Rebecca click here: The Daemon Career Coach