Working With Limiting Beliefs
Career coaching: Shame Working with people with the beliefs that they have held of themselves, we frequently reach a point where the client will shame themselves for having had them in the first place. This is NOT USEFUL! Even if we have outgrown the belief we have just identified. Even if we can see that it is utterly standing in the way of our progression. What we do need to do is remember that it is there for good reason.
Many of the people who show up here to do career coaching work are well; happy and whole. These are also humans who will, on the whole, have experienced some kind of trauma or catastrophe, a life experience that has been more Than hurtful, a family that was less than emotionally literate? Who hasn’t! And, whilst clients might have mostly made peace with those things. These are also the experiences where our beliefs can begin. Our beliefs about yourself and your word might well have come into being as a self-protection strategy to enable you to survive difficult times.
Just because those difficult times have passed and we kept on using a strategy that has gone past its use-by date, does not mean you are doing anything wrong!!!! What it means is that your strategy slipped under the radar, became a norm for you and you didn’t even know it was there! Surely You can’t beat yourself up for something that you don’t even know is there??? Well. It seems that we do. I have had people say things like ‘I sounded like a baby when I said those things’. And there is another layer of beliefs playing out! Nobody EVER moved forward swiftly from anywhere when they were shaming themselves!
Career Coaching: Shame
Here are the fabulous strategies for overcoming Shame. And I concur: Mostly this healing (and it IS healing), it’s about compassion towards the small person that was hurt in the first place. It’s about picking that hurt-person up and bringing them along for the journey. It’s about staying with them and reassuring them in the way that you now know would have been useful at the time of impact. As it wasn’t there at the time. I know you are totally able to make reparation to yourself now. You can set down that belief now and choose another one that will assist you on the next piece of your journey. One of that benefits of being an adult is that you can choose how you treat yourself.