Feeling Criticised? Here’s a Solution

I published an article recently in the hope of stimulating some professional debate. When they say ‘be careful what you ask for? You might just receive’ they mean it! I was the recipient of what felt at the time like quite a cutting response from an esteemed colleague. I took a deep breath, took no action, and, I got on with my days commitments in order to let the sediment of my response settle…..

When I returned to the article in order to post my considered response I realised I had learned a lot. 

Having felt vulnerable and exposed, my first reaction was a level of defensiveness at the sting of criticism. Then I began a journey of exploration. Did I agree with elements of the comment? Did I know and honour where my professional boundaries lay? Was I being ethical and holding my clients best interests at the centre of my practice? Was I personally and professionally supported and nourished enough to hold my own core in this coaching work?

What I learned was two-fold. First and foremost, having taken my own inventory, I could indeed evidence a significant level of professional boundaries provided by training, experience, by supervision and regular peer mentoring, to trust myself.

I also learned that perhaps I have been getting quite ‘adult’ recently. Instead of allowing my emotions to rule my brain in that critical moment, I was able to hold all the elements of emotion, rational thought, defensive inner child, and critical parent within my being. I was able take a step sideways and continue with my day whilst it played itself out. I was able to be rigorously honest with myself and thus hold my own, with equilibrium, in my professional world.

If you’re ever feeling criticised, might it be time to stop looking at what ‘they’ think and examine your own beliefs rigorously? You might just discover that you are doing OK after all…..
To learn more of working with Rebrcca click here: The Daemon Career Coach