Bring Me Your Shame
Career Coaching: Shame: As a coach, as a supervisor, and as a Developer of leaders, I have a big ask of you.
If we are going to work together truly, then I need you to be courageous and risking bringing your shame. Bring me your fears, bring me your fxxk ups, bring me your judgments and resentments, and bring me your hurts, guilt, and rage. Life, work, leadership are all full of triggers, frustrations, and conundrums.
Sure, bring me your successes too. Then we can celebrate them together. There will be times when you have been utterly brilliant, inspired change, and brought healing. Let’s enjoy those and see how you can do more of them. For these are the moments that we live for – what could be better?
However, the real learning takes place in dark places. My superpower lies in being able to find the gold in there. We are all only human. We will all make mistakes. The only choice we have with errors is to work out what to do with them. Hide it, cover it up, rectify it? When you pretend it never happened, and you take a considerable risk. That risk is that you’ll repeat the same mistake.
Career Coaching: Shame
If you take the other option, where you can share your mistake, we can explore it fully and find out what triggered it. Once we have that information we can choose what can be different next time… this is the benefit of mistakes. We get to learn a whole heap about ourselves and the world. We only get this benefit when we dare to examine it.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger….” yes, there is undoubtedly truth in this. However, those mistakes, or each strong reaction or emotion, when held compassionately, becomes a gift. Your courage and honesty, your realisation that very rarely does the sharing our human experiences make the sky fall in, and then we get to grow, learn, and be potent.
So, bring me your shame – I Dare You!
Have the courage to bring your shame and we can work with it. Please leave your ‘Perfect’ self behind; there is no place for that facet here.