Skip to the Good Bit!

In my experience It’s easy to become very good at only seeing the negative in what has happened in our day. Firstly we are told that it is arrogant to boast. We are also taught that the way to solve a problem is to focus right in on it, give it our whole attention and dissect it until we understand what we need to do to put it right….. These two traits, over indulged in, show us only the dark side.

There is a strand of coaching, called ‘solution focused coaching’, that encourages us to do exactly the opposite. When an event or task or meeting is complete, instead of piling all our energy into dissembling what went awry, we are encouraged to celebrate what went well. Solution focussed coaching gives us the task of dissembling what went right, understanding why it did so, and thus learning how it can be replicated! The theory being,  that to do more of what worked, will squeeze what didn’t right out of its space….

This is not my natural way. When I first learned of it I felt it was perhaps ‘irresponsible’ and maybe ‘avoidant’ or even ‘childlike’ to just skip to the good bit! Practicing as a coach and a supervisor over the years, I see just how hard my clients are in themselves, and thus I can see that there is a validity to this different approach.

Celebrating, recognising and rewarding our achievements is as important, if not more so, than berating ourselves for our challenges. If we do not validate our continuing professional development, then how can we expect anyone else to? If all we see are the negatives,  then what on earth is there to nourish us and spur us on?

In truth all days have bits that go well and bits that could have gone better….. It is our responsibility to hold the balance. This way we have enough hope to be able to continue learning and challenging ourselves in order that we can grow.

If all you do, daily, is remember to notice for yourself, five things that you did well, then this is a powerful source of nourishment. 

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