Strategies For Recovery From a Professional Slight
Firstly, remember to breathe. You might think I jest but when we feel hurt, overlooked or let down, the thought, becomes a feeling, becomes a physical hurt. A deep breath, or several, gives the whole experience some space.
Wait 72 hours before responding. In the heat of the moment, in a desire either to retaliate or to be ‘right’, it would be easy to say, email, or text the thing that could undo months of work together and undermine the relationship that has been built.
Share it with someone you trust & who holds you in good heart. When fear and hurt get trapped inside us we can play ping-pong in our heads and self justify until we drive ourselves insane! A trusted third party can ‘spot’ on your behalf and gently notice your blind spots. It may well be the case that both parties have a right to their points of view, and it is communication that has been the true traitor.
Unless you are considering legal action, I would advise deleting the conversations and emails and threads that have lead to this point. It is enough that the relationship is fractured without giving yourself the opportunity to dissect the exchange over and over, adding fuel to the fire. Words are very powerful, when we hear them and rehear them, they stimulate an electrical impulse the brain. Re-stimulate this impulse and you establish a neural pathway which leads directly to the thought that leads to you re-experiencing the original shock. This way it is perfectly possible to re-traumatise yourself over and over….. & to what purpose?
Be disciplined with your own head. Thoughts become feelings. If you need to create a mantra to replace the thought then do it.
When you have agreed to move on, do just that! Affirm yourself & do the positive things you love.
Remember that this too shall pass. This is not said in a dismissive way. Holding in your head, the thought, whilst your heart hurts right now, that in 5 or 10 years, this will most probably mean very little. The lessons will have been learned and life will have moved on in a thousand different ways.
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