You Are Already Enough!

Career Change at 40: Have you ever been triggered into trying to be someone you are not?

Oscar Wilde did say “be yourself, everyone else is taken”. But, maybe we all have an element of people-pleasing within us?
A really big trigger for me lies around going into situations I am unfamiliar with. As a small person, I learned to stay safe by anticipating what was wanted from me. In adulthood, this has proven to be less of an asset.
If we go into new situations having written the narrative before the event happens, we are closed to new information. When you are closed to new information then you are unable to respond appropriately. If you cannot respond appropriately to what is needed then you cannot possibly do the job. If you cannot do the job, even if you can fake it st interview and get hired, you’ll soon be interviewing again for a new post …
Career Change at 40
In my twenties, I could read what was needed perfectly. As in childhood, I’d give all the right answers. Get me in the post however and I’d be on the steepest learning curve because I wasn’t bringing the real me to work. In the past, the gap between what I promised and what I could actually provide would grow until I was unable to straddle the divide any longer. I would move (or be moved!), onwards
 This was an entirely unsatisfying, and entirely unsatisfactory as a career path!

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In my 30s I began to risk being true to myself. That was better! I could voice an opinion and be secure enough to hear an answer. I could, therefore, be effective! I could be true to me, to my values and gradually my imposter syndrome was replaced by evidenced good work.

Career Change at 40

In my 40’s, the one thing absolutely guaranteed to trigger me into ‘not being myself’ is making a career change. I am currently building on my business success and engaging with my second curve. Tomorrow I have a scary meeting. Its a scary meeting in a sector that is alien to me, providing a service I am only just piloting, offering it to people I have never met before. Who wouldn’t have a little fear? Ok, I can give myself that …
What I need to do is QUIT anticipating what I think that they want me to be. What I need to do is continue to show up as the real, curious, knowledgeable, passionate practitioner that I am. I need to ask the questions and actually be present enough to hear the answers. I need to ignore all that advice I received at school about preparation. I need to show up and know that merely by being there and being brave that I am enough. This is the only way that I will learn anything.
There, that’s my career change at 40 advice. Show up, be open, honest and willing and listen to the answers to the questions that you have asked.

Youll find Rebecca here at the Daemon Career Coach