Career Coaching: Change
Career Coaching: Change: If you keep doing the same thing, again and again, you will get exactly the same outcome. This might seem like an obvious thing to say. It is however pertinent because even when we are unhappy, this is what most of us do. We moan about our weight or our work or our wage. Then we’ rinse and repeat’ and wonder why nothing improves.
Why do we do this? It’s because change is frightening. Whilst we might like to see ourselves as risk-takers and potent, mostly, when it comes to the big-life things, we ‘settle’. We tend to change things when they become very uncomfortable. We all know that our current lifestyles are ruining our planet. Who of us is really willing to let our creature comforts go in order to save her? I bet those in the wildfires of Australia and the Amazon are plotting what they can do differently!
It is the same with your career. If it is not on fire, if it’s ‘OK & familiar’, what real cause is there to make any changes even if you feel a bit unhappy? When I ask new clients what brought them to coaching 99.99% of them answer that they have been unhappy at work for years.
What makes the difference between tolerating this and taking action? It seems to me that it’s about not trying to make these changes alone. In our western world, we have become very attached to the idea of hiding our real selves. We soldier on, sometimes experiencing considerable levels of pain, being brave.I spent years and years of being unhappy in my life and my work. I spent to hide the same years refusing to let anyone know just how much it hurt. I had such shame that I couldn’t make it work for me that I refused to tell anyone. Then I was in a place of assuming everyone else was fine as I was comparing my insides with other people’s outsides and they looked alright. The solution for me was to start getting honest with myself and with others.
Career Coaching: Change
Two decades on and this honesty is still a battle. I don’t want to admit to anyone else that anything hurts, or I’m frightened or don’t know how to do it. I don’t want to let anyone see me in tears or terrified. But do you know what? When I risk it and I get real, when I show trusted people exactly who and how I am, the relief is immense! What I see when I am honest about myself is that I am not alone. Each of us humans has our triggers and our fears. We all fall apart and believe we can’t do it. With this understanding and the support of others, we can drop down into our hearts and take thy risks that we need to.
So, if you have been unhappy for years in your work. If you are stuck and don’t know how to change it, my prescription would be to get honest with yourself and with a few chosen others. Fall apart on a friend. Find yourself a mentor who will conform she too has felt that same. Seek out a colleague who you sense may be struggling similarly. Find a professional who can help you to hold your fears.
We all Believe we so sodding special and different! You aren’t. I’m not. We may fear different things but we all need similar kinds of human support and understanding. This is the way to unlock the ‘stuck’. Be real, pull your team of supporters around you. That way you can begin to take small risks. Taking small risks will lead to the changes you seek.
Quit trying to do it on your own! I dare you!