Be Curious. Be You. Be Real.

Career Coaching: Curiosity might well have killed the cat. It is our curiosity however that enables us to learn. If we cannot he curious and we cannot ask questions, then how else can we get the information that we need?
Do you know what gets in the way of my curiosity? It’s my ego. My ego is frightened that if I ask questions then others will know that I don’t know the answers. How mad is that? And, there were real consequences of not knowing the answer when I was small. I’m wanting to please authority figures, in wanting to belong, in wanting to be liked and to be right, it was actually safer in the first two decades of my life to make up an answer or nod sagely and pretend that I already knew…

That worked, for a while, it kept me safe from criticism and ridicule. Then I began to out grow it.

You see, in pretending that I had all the answers in an interview, that would land myself a job I then couldn’t do. In the not knowing how to do the job, and then in service of upholding the illusion of competence I had to create at interview. I was trapped in a place of not knowing and of not knowing how to ask how to do it. These extended periods of conscious incompetence became excruciating. There have been so many places, jobs, relationships, towns that I walked out of in my twenties, waving, saying ‘I’ve got a better opportunity elsewhere’ when actually I was merely running away. My confidence corroded deeper and deeper each time.

Career coaching: Curiosity

I have quit pretending I know these days. It has taken time and practice, risks, some failures and, many more successes. I would rather raise my hand and ask ‘what does that mean?’ Or ‘can you explain more about that for me please’. This way I gain the information I need in order to be effective in life, love and, work. What I also gain is the confidence that by surrendering and admitting I don’t know, I won’t be rejected. Conversely, the more questions I ask the more I belong. 

And, when it does go ‘tits-up’, and there have been times when a question has been badly received, then I take it as a good measure that this is an individual or organisation that just isn’t for me. It can also mean that ‘the questioned’ doesn’t know the answer either and just can’t admit it …
Nobody can know everything. Being willing to admit that’I don’t know’ is the doorway to my learning new stuff! That makes life really fascinating.
Be Curious, Be You, Be Real: I Dare You!

You can find Rebecca here at the Daemon Career Coach