Leadership Coaching: Conflict

Leadership Coaching: Conflict. It is impossible to lead without conflict. Don’t try to fool yourself into believing that all leadership work will be all sweetness and light. Just like in life, everyone ain’t gonna be your best friend. Not everyone is going to share your vision, your egalitarianism or your empowering attitude, all of the time. 

Some people will disagree, some will not be shifted or engaged, some will rebel, disrupt or dig their heels in. Some of your team won’t ever be able to tell you why that is… and isn’t that the most aggravating thing. If you are anything like me, you might struggle with that. I truly believe that if I can understand the cause of the problem, then we can solve it. The important part of that phrase is ‘We’. This is not a ‘lone task’. It does take two to tango and if one person in this team isn’t up for the dance, then, there is an impasse.  The trick is in learning how to step out of the ring with some kind of elegance…

Leadership Coaching: Conflict

Now that is hard! I would personally rather keep banging my head against a brick wall in order to show my willingness than step back and possibly let the worst happen. That’s because at this point I am motivated by fear, not by love. When I have fear of my project not succeeding, fear of not being liked, fear of what others will think…When I am fearful then I tend to grab and grasp and the very idea of holding it lightly or sitting with it or letting it be is ludicrous.., but that is exactly what I need to do. Here’s how …

Conflict resolution doesn’t have to end with agreement…”

says Insperity

“Building a culture of engaged employees, who respect each other and work well together, is a top-down proposition. By speaking to your employees in an honest and respectful manner, you create an environment that fosters integrity and communication. When you’re open and honest, employees are more likely to follow”

The reality is that you don’t actually have to like each other. What you do need to do is to get the job done. As a leader, your job is to challenge anything that gets in the way of this end-game. It’s not personal, it’s about the outcomes. This is where your authority lies. If a member of the team is obstructing those outcomes, then you do have every right to call it out. Keep good records, de-personalise it and step out of the emotional ring. That is why you are leading, to ensure nothing unnecessary hinders the agreed progress.

If an individual cannot put their differences aside in order to meet the needed project or organisational changes, then you are well within your rights to ask them to leave.

You can find rebecca here at The Daemon Career Coach