What If We Treated Ourselves As We Expect We Shall Treat Others?
It might seem like an arse-backwards phrase but it strikes me increasingly, that whilst we might extend love or kindness and friendship to others, and they in return to us, we often behave in an opposite manner internally towards ourselves.
Where we would treat clients with unconditional positive regard, we often judge ourselves hardest. Where we would support a friend to learn and laugh about any mistakes, we criticise and hurry ourselves. Where we would support a fellow practitioners professional development wholeheartedly, we often treat ourselves to a really good dose of ‘hurry sickness’ as we compete with the vision of ourselves that should be, instead of encouraging ourselves forwards from the place we actually are.
We would be devastated if we believed that someone else felt we had judged, criticised, or bullied them. We would be annoyed and ‘done wrong by’ if we thought anyone has behaved like that towards us. Therefore how come it’s ok for us to me mean to ourselves and what purpose does it serve?
Perhaps there is a little of the good old Protestant Work Ethic embedded in us that believes that ‘pride comes before a fall’. Perhaps these voices we use towards ourselves are the voices of others we have internalised from when we were small. Whatever the cause in the past I cannot see that these internal critics are of any benefit us in the now.
If you want a car to run well and reliably, it is in your interests to take good care of it. A vehicle needs the regular addition of fuel, water, oil and tlc to maintain its efficiency. We humans too have essential requirements if we are to function to the best of our ability. We need encouragement, we need support and laughter, and, we need to mindfully practice unconditional positive regard as much with ourselves as with anyone ‘out there’.
How well might we function as humans and as professionals if we treated ourselves the way we treat others? Perhaps try it, ust for today, and see how your perspective changes?
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