Career Coaching: Triggered! I had no idea how hard I find it to ask for help. How did I learn this? I learned this when I needed some minor medical attention from the NHS. Referred to a ‘fast track service’ just before I went abroad for a fortnight, I arrived home to find that my appointment had come and gone without me even knowing. They didn’t know about my holiday. The appointment given was when I was abroad. I found I was trapped in a loop that I couldn’t exit.
“I had no idea how hard I find it to ask for help.”
Every letter had a different telephone number on it. Each number I rang took half an hour to be answered. Each number was the wrong one. The people I spoke to were all overworked and stressed. They didn’t have the information I needed – how can you not know who your patients need to call to rebook an appointment?
After a couple of hours, I was told that there were “No clinics at all”. Told I “would have to call back next week when the new lot had been released”. I was in tears. Tears of fear but mostly tears of frustration. How could this be so difficult if I was already in the system? I felt VERY alone.
Career Coaching: Triggered
Triggered? Hell Yeah! I was triggered! Here I was showing up to do hard scary things like having tests. I was doing my best. And, then the authorities are telling me it’s not possible.
After weeping (grrr!!) it took my husband to remind me I could call the Dr. And, I even fought that: “What’s the Dr going to do – If there are no clinics, there are no clinics.” I felt foolish/needy/guilty involving the Dr again. Good girls don’t bother the Dr! Really triggered. However, disturb the Dr. I did nonetheless. When he called back, he was incredibly kind. “No, need to re-refer, you are still in the system. However, we owe you an apology – I can see the dept was not told of your holiday. That’s added to the confusion. I’m sorry’ and ‘if you haven’t got it sorted by Monday, do call us back & I’ll intervene”.
That was new. An apology from the Dr. That took the wind Right out of my sails! I also felt heard. That helped. That helped me climb down out of my triggered place. The next day I called back on the dot of 8.30 again, while there were still no clinics (!!) I had got through in under ten minutes. I spoke to a kind and calm person who offered to add me to the list to be called back when there WERE clinics… today I got that call.
What would I do differently next time? Ask for help MUCH earlier, to begin with – when I first experienced the pain. Get over my god girl; don’t bother the Dr beliefs and put myself first. I would interrupt the cycle much earlier and not wait until I am in crisis mode, And if I had to, YES call the Dr for reassurance – that precisely what I got! And it made the rest of it so much easier.
I hate it when I get triggered. It’s so powerful!!!! Sometimes I need to ask for help to climb back down into ordinary reality and do the adult things again.
What’s triggered you recently? I’d love to know.