Professional Development Plans: Sometimes pushing harder doesn’t get you any further than pausing, or even surrendering. Progress is enhanced by replenishing in the long run. Whilst I recognise I am stating the flipping obvious it doesn’t feel like a solution in my moments of frustration. I’m not very good at playing the long game. I have a natural impatience, which, whilst not always a curse, can make me demanding of results, now! And the person I demand results of, now, most, is me!
And then I burn out and then I am frustrated and cross that I cannot do the simplest of things.
Struggling with my health & trying to reconfigure my diary so that I could both recuperate AND coach (thereby doubling time?), I found I. Could. Not. Get. The. Top. Off. The. Bleach. I burst into tears. Perhaps it was significant that it was a child proof top because there certainly was an infant in charge of things that day……That was my sign to surrender as nobody needs coaching from a cross toddler.
“I need to be WAY more sceptical of what I see.”
I need to get better at catching myself out way before I reach that point! Our culture, the media and especially social media all encourage us to compare our insides with others outsides. When I compare my vulnerabilities with the persona that others are choosing to present, I can feel very, very inadequate indeed! What happens when I personally feel inadequate? I try to be better. Sometimes I try to better myself so much that I break myself.
That is NOT good role-modelling. I’m not ranking high in ‘being of service to others’, when I’m in tears cos I can’t open the bottle of bleach am I?
“I can use social media as a means of feeding self-flagellation and that I need to quit.”
Nope, I’m not blaming social media for my not being able to get the top off the bottle. I am noticing that my attitude towards myself, as a woman, as a professional, as a human of many different facets, sometimes stinks. I notice that I can use social media as a means of feeding self-flagellation and that I need to quit.
New Professional Development Plans
I need to be more judicious in my use of social media. I need to be WAY more sceptical of what I see. I need to be way more strategic in the way I behave towards myself. If I pace myself, have a little trust that my way is ok, if I nourish myself I will encounter new experiences resourced. If I fill the gap of inadequacy from the inside with self nourishment, instead of feeding it from the outside, I might just enjoy my journey some more?
I intend to edit ‘Self-Flagellation’ from my professional development plans. If you recognise any of this then…