The Biggest Fear About Career Coaching 

Fears clients have shared with me have been about ‘the financial commitment’ and, ‘the predictability of the outcomes’ of this coaching work.

Deep down, the REAL fear of most clients is the fear of Being Really Seen.

In northern Europe we are full of Shame. Here we are drenched in shame and we are terrified of being seen. This shame doesn’t even belong to us. The legacy was gifted to us, unintentionally, by our families and by society. Shame it makes us really afraid.

We can in face fears BOTH of being seen in either our vulnerability AND in our brilliance -BOTH. To be too exposed in any of our iterations can feel excruciatingly painful.

I know. I have this too. The first time I was forced to challenge it I was in my mid 20s. I came into recovery from addiction.

I was told that if I didn’t ‘get honest’ in amongst circles of what I considered at the time to be ‘old people’, then I would “use again and die.”

So I did. I showed up. I shared my innermost feelings with bunches of total strangers in an attempt to stay alive. And, do you know what happened? These ‘old, Strangers” became some of my VERY best friends.

Half a life-time later I STILL carry a significant level of shame. I can get triggered. And, these days I know it won’t kill me. I understand that the more I risk sharing in the right places, the more ‘normal’ I feel.

What being really real has done for me is show me that others feel similarly. I know that I’m not alone. I know that whatever I’m going through will heal. Sharing gives me connection with others. It gives me access to the guidance from others who have walked these paths before me. Sharing normalises the extremes of emotion I can feel when things in life or in work go totally t*ts up.

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And, for all of us things can suddenly go totally t*ts up. This is where our mettle is tested — ask for help, share our ‘real’. OR, we keep on trying to do it all alone; feeling full of shame and failure.